The other week, I had an unusual vision at work. While toiling away at my desk, an image flashed in my mind. It looked like a childhood version of me running toward the horizon. I don’t know where she was headed, but I sensed fear within her. I‘m aware that all of this was happening in my mind; though, I don’t recall any day dreams that made me feel anxious. It happened briefly, but the vision appeared so clearly that I haven’t stopped thinking about it ever since. The dream occurred just days after the Tax Day deadline and it made me rethink everything I’ve been through to this point.
Since having the vision, I’ve been reminded of elementary school; running laps around the yard as part of physical education. I was hardly an athletic child, let alone a competitive spirit. I didn’t enjoy running and ended up crying or yelling a lot during those sessions, because my stomach and legs felt the most pain at that time. You could sit there and tell me that the pain wasn’t “real”, but for the elementary school version of Me, it was one of the most intense experiences I can remember. When I think about it now, the duties of your job aren’t something you can run away from, but they’re the responsibilities you face, from start to finish.
The past few months have been extremely stressful and challenging, but it can also be viewed as highly productive. With the help and encouragement of my coworkers, I survived one of the busiest times of year at the office. I don’t think it would have been possible without all of us working together, so I’m grateful to have kind and cooperative teammates. They said that if I could handle “Tax Season”, I have what it takes to face the world of Accounting. Now that the springtime rush has ended, things have started slowing down and I’m returning to reality of the situation, so to speak.
It’s been about 6 months since I’ve started this job and there are still moments when I question if I’m truly meant to be there? I feel there’s still much for me to learn and accomplish, but I’ve been fairly persistent about assisting my office mates to the best of my abilities. I often worry that I’m not contributing much, or not putting enough effort into the work day. Multitasking is still quite challenging and I feel pressured to meet the expectations of my superiors. Imagine wielding a single bow and arrow, but trying to hit the bulls-eye for 5 separate targets. This example is highly exaggerated, but that's what it feels like at times. There is still much to do and learn, so I intend to approach it carefully. I endured the severity of Spring; now, I hope that I have the strength to finish the seasons to come.
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