The other week, a jester appeared in my bedroom. They did not pose any threats, a seemingly harmless clown. What was their purpose: to entertain me, to show some tricks? Was I meant to see the Fool, or was it the Magician in disguise? No words were exchanged, only glances from afar. I watched them stroll casually around the room. I got off of my bed and tried tidying the space. Then, the clown mounted a bicycle and rode circles around me. I wasn’t trapped, but I wanted to get out of their path. I wanted to ask them to stop, but the words wouldn't come out. I remained quiet and cautious. They finally spoke, “The space is rather silent.”
This was an encounter with someone, maybe something I haven’t seen in awhile. I can’t even say that I’ve met any court jesters in real life, but I sense something familiar about this one. It was in their body language, how they carried themselves; care-free and cordial - until they rode the bicycle, then we got in each other's way. During this episode, we never actually talked to each other, just looked from across the room. Never even so much as touch hands, only crossing paths within the moment. I didn’t come any closer to due to uncertainty. I couldn't help but wonder why they chose to appear on this night.
Part of me wanted to befriend the clown that I saw in my sleep - I thought maybe they made an appearance to cheer me up during my weakest hours. I entered the new year feeling emotionally low, after having lost touch with people. I imagined this dream proposed an opportunity to start a new conversation, but I was silenced before I could move my lips. We argued with our eyes and evaded one another; I was the Mime and they were the Jester. When I think about it, I wonder if I'm actually the Fool and this is one of those visions where I struggle with myself. Dreams are projections of what sits at the back of the mind, after all.
- - - - -
At the beginning of 2019, I Finally started archiving my record collection and went through my 45's - some hits from the 80's band, Tears for Fears. I realized one of my favorite songs of theirs isn't even part of my collection (yet), so I revisited the melody to hear it again. I always enjoyed this song, but I never understood why until I sat down to read the lyrics. It resonates well with what I experienced in my vision. From the first verse of "Head Over Heels,"
"I wanted to be with you alone
And talk about the weather
But traditions I can trace against the child in your face
Won't escape my attention
You keep your distance with a system of touch
And gentle persuasion
I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much?
Oh, you're wasting my time
You're just, just, just wasting time."
This was an encounter with someone, maybe something I haven’t seen in awhile. I can’t even say that I’ve met any court jesters in real life, but I sense something familiar about this one. It was in their body language, how they carried themselves; care-free and cordial - until they rode the bicycle, then we got in each other's way. During this episode, we never actually talked to each other, just looked from across the room. Never even so much as touch hands, only crossing paths within the moment. I didn’t come any closer to due to uncertainty. I couldn't help but wonder why they chose to appear on this night.
Part of me wanted to befriend the clown that I saw in my sleep - I thought maybe they made an appearance to cheer me up during my weakest hours. I entered the new year feeling emotionally low, after having lost touch with people. I imagined this dream proposed an opportunity to start a new conversation, but I was silenced before I could move my lips. We argued with our eyes and evaded one another; I was the Mime and they were the Jester. When I think about it, I wonder if I'm actually the Fool and this is one of those visions where I struggle with myself. Dreams are projections of what sits at the back of the mind, after all.
- - - - -
At the beginning of 2019, I Finally started archiving my record collection and went through my 45's - some hits from the 80's band, Tears for Fears. I realized one of my favorite songs of theirs isn't even part of my collection (yet), so I revisited the melody to hear it again. I always enjoyed this song, but I never understood why until I sat down to read the lyrics. It resonates well with what I experienced in my vision. From the first verse of "Head Over Heels,"
"I wanted to be with you alone
And talk about the weather
But traditions I can trace against the child in your face
Won't escape my attention
You keep your distance with a system of touch
And gentle persuasion
I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much?
Oh, you're wasting my time
You're just, just, just wasting time."
Comments
Post a Comment