Dream - Most Unwelcome

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I had the luxury of taking an extensive nap - I slept a bit over 2 hours in the middle of my day off. Having that kind of leisure is rare for me. While I dozed off during a warm summer afternoon, I remember seeing something in my sleep. Normally you would call this Day Dreaming, but I had no desire to see any of it. I remember experiencing tension in others, being in an emotionally uncomfortable place. This vision didn’t turn out the way I would have wanted it to, but I suppose there's something to learn from it.

I recall walking into an apartment through a side-door, it was a small dwelling unit. It didn’t appear to be the front, but it may have been one of those dedicated entrances made for the tenant’s convenience. Kai helped me carry some items around, but as we entered, I heard people arguing in the background. I couldn’t see who was yelling, but I do remember hearing multiple voices. Some of them weren’t even speaking in English, but everyone sounded aggravated. 

“Don’t go in there, You aren’t allowed in this place!” (foreign shouting, yelling) ... 
“Yes, we went over it before. I told her she can’t come by,” “Oh my God- WHY?!”
(indistinct, continues) “OK then, just Leave already! I can’t believe we’re doing this...” 

When I woke from this vision, I thought about an experience earlier this year. Someone I knew invited me to live in their new apartment with them. As you may or may not know, moving out is one of the bigger Life Goals I've been working hard toward. Due to some misunderstandings and lack of communication, we departed from one another. It’s been one month since I last exchanged words (text) with this person. They haven’t reached out for anything else at this point, so I don’t know that our conflict was of real concern. 

I thought the dream might be a reminder of my relationship with them and why we separated. It left me hopeless and defeated at the end of April, all throughout the month of May. For my own well being, I stopped giving them my time and attention on social media. I purposely avoided them, because I couldn’t handle someone living their best life in a space where I felt unwelcome. Then, they finally contacted me in June (just before my birthday) to apologize. I no longer held emotional investment at that point - I gave them a piece of my mind and left it at that. 

The vision only projects that which I perceive of them. I don’t know that the person would be as verbal in reality, but this may be my own frustrations pressing against me. When we that had falling out, I was so upset, I couldn’t even look at pictures of them. I eventually stopped caring about what happened. Whatever reasons swayed their decisions to live absent of me, they now must deal with the responsibilities of living alone. I'm not even glad that this happened, but I learned about counting on myself than having to rely on others. For now I’m staying home, working to what should come next.

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