White Wisp

The other week I had a vision of Fear; it wasn't graphic or scary, but I imagined what Fear looks like inside of me. This was difficult to visualize at first - the energy jolted around my Mind's Eye as if it were electricity. It's almost as though Fear felt anxious and did not want me to see what it looked like. As we acknowledged one another, it appeared in front of me: a white wisp. I couldn't identify if it had any facial features, I only saw slits for eyes and a slender body. Fear waltzed from left to right with it's aura glowing in the darkness of my mind.

When I finally saw Fear, it approached me very gently, flowing closely by my side. When I sat quietly with Fear, I wasn't afraid - I wanted to know what purpose it serves for me. During this interaction, Fear floated next to my shoulder, as though it was guarding me. I imagine my vision of Fear is the opposite of how we view our Shadow: an essence that trails closely behind you, but cannot be seen in the presence of Light. I think this is what created the White Wisp in my Mind's Eye - My vision of Fear glows brilliantly in the dark and moves like mist.

During my early adolescent (awkward teen) years, I sometimes referred to myself as a Phantom. I was translucent; light passed through me and I was practically invisible to people. I often felt like my presence haunted and disturbed others, so I would shy from social situations. This led to having heavily introverted and guarded behaviors. I was always afraid of approaching and making friends, because I didn't know how they would react to me. I didn't want to bother anyone or become a nuisance to them, so it was particularly difficult making myself present. When I think about it now, perhaps I was Afraid of being Myself.

Fear is the feeling that alerts us as we approach dangerous or threatening situations. When I examined Fear, I imagined it could be a shape-shifter and take form of anything that caused me distress in the past. At the same time, Fear creates apprehension; an inverted-shadow that can suspend my action at any given moment, thanks to Traumatic experiences. I sense that Fear has been working hard to Protect me from facing the Unknown. When I agreed to work with Fear to understand it better, it presented a bouquet of Flowers. Maybe this is a Truce, instead of the white flag of Surrender.

I know it's here to help me somehow, but I haven't figured everything out just yet.
It might sound strange, but I hope to safely face Fear again in the Future.

- - - - -
Related Content:

http://fav.me/ddnpnek - White Wisp, Woman & Fleur de Lis (sketchbook illustration)
https://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2019/12/lonely-tear-drop.html - Lonely Tear Drop (meeting Sadness)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will-o%27-the-wisp - also known as, "Fool's Fire." (alternate title & source)

Comments