“One of the things your Mom and I seem to have trouble expressing is that you and your siblings do not have to struggle Alone.” - Dad.
In the past, I was uncomfortable sharing my thoughts in fear of being ridiculed or dismissed by people that I regularly interact with, including: family, friends and coworkers. It has always been challenging sharing with others, as I feel deeply disrespected whenever I'm dismissed by my peers. I could give people space to express themselves freely, but it's defeating when that openness is not reciprocated. I have learned to practice discernment with those that I share myself with and become vocal when it's appropriate. I'm not saying this to belittle or argue with anyone, but now I have a better understanding how we project and protect ourselves.
I may have expressed this in the past, but I think it bears repeating because I’m still learning to address it. I never felt I could be vocal about my problems, because someone always had the audacity to say their situation was more severe than mine. I never wanted my troubles to become another person's burden, so I reserved many of my issues over the course of time. I had an easier experience listening to other people talk about themselves, so I learned to be present whenever I felt silenced. I held more value within other people than I did with myself and learned a great deal about Empathy. While I appreciate the lesson, growing in this manner did not allow me to value my own life.
When I decided that I wanted to improve my situation and heal myself, nothing forced me into Solitude, but introversion greatly benefited me. I limited social interaction because I needed to learn so much about myself. I separated from the idea that another person would validate me. I chose to be alone as I wanted to overcome certain challenges and be a testament to myself. Every time I felt doubt, I followed through and proved that I am capable of great things without relying on anyone else. As I moved forward, I looked to others to reinforce my beliefs. Now, I'm happy to know people who provide emotional support and encouragement as we continue.
Whenever I can sit with someone and talk about what’s on my mind, I'm often praised for being well-composed. Some of the greatest compliments I’ve received as an adult are being kind and mentally strong - Sure, I’ve been praised for remaining calm under high levels of stress, but in reality I'm braving so many storms inside. I didn’t realize how challenging it is to keep emotions in check, but I see how our actions define us in the midst of adversity. I wouldn't say that I have everything under control, but I realized I am not as emotionally charged as others. As challenging as this has been, I'm thankful for everything I've learned as well as everything I am overcoming.
Life's Gold Hymn : Holding Myself.
Thank You for Holding Space for Me.
In the past, I was uncomfortable sharing my thoughts in fear of being ridiculed or dismissed by people that I regularly interact with, including: family, friends and coworkers. It has always been challenging sharing with others, as I feel deeply disrespected whenever I'm dismissed by my peers. I could give people space to express themselves freely, but it's defeating when that openness is not reciprocated. I have learned to practice discernment with those that I share myself with and become vocal when it's appropriate. I'm not saying this to belittle or argue with anyone, but now I have a better understanding how we project and protect ourselves.
I may have expressed this in the past, but I think it bears repeating because I’m still learning to address it. I never felt I could be vocal about my problems, because someone always had the audacity to say their situation was more severe than mine. I never wanted my troubles to become another person's burden, so I reserved many of my issues over the course of time. I had an easier experience listening to other people talk about themselves, so I learned to be present whenever I felt silenced. I held more value within other people than I did with myself and learned a great deal about Empathy. While I appreciate the lesson, growing in this manner did not allow me to value my own life.
When I decided that I wanted to improve my situation and heal myself, nothing forced me into Solitude, but introversion greatly benefited me. I limited social interaction because I needed to learn so much about myself. I separated from the idea that another person would validate me. I chose to be alone as I wanted to overcome certain challenges and be a testament to myself. Every time I felt doubt, I followed through and proved that I am capable of great things without relying on anyone else. As I moved forward, I looked to others to reinforce my beliefs. Now, I'm happy to know people who provide emotional support and encouragement as we continue.
Whenever I can sit with someone and talk about what’s on my mind, I'm often praised for being well-composed. Some of the greatest compliments I’ve received as an adult are being kind and mentally strong - Sure, I’ve been praised for remaining calm under high levels of stress, but in reality I'm braving so many storms inside. I didn’t realize how challenging it is to keep emotions in check, but I see how our actions define us in the midst of adversity. I wouldn't say that I have everything under control, but I realized I am not as emotionally charged as others. As challenging as this has been, I'm thankful for everything I've learned as well as everything I am overcoming.
Life's Gold Hymn : Holding Myself.
Thank You for Holding Space for Me.
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