Recollections of the Past,
Beyond the Looking Glass-
Truths that were Masked
Now being Recognized.
I never Understood why
Moments that turned Ugly
Always sought to Confront Me
and "Challenging" statements.
I tried to be Good to Them,
But this was no use When
they made up their Mind,
Deciding everything Without Me.
If I had ever Questioned
the "Relationship" between us,
it would never be "Enough" as
We Desired Different outcomes.
The Instant I stopped excusing
these irrational behaviors,
I see how it changed things,
in terms of what each Favored.
Many nights I asked myself,
"Is this even Worth It?"
Fooled into believing
Those actions held Merit.
- - - - -
I have been thinking about this for quite some time and been trying to find words to describe the experience. Building some narrative through Poetry has proven difficult for me, so I'm doing my best.
This relationship was Toxic in many ways, but no one ever wanted to believe that. Each person desired different things, but it was never discussed in detail. I can't go back and ask why this even happened, but I'm inclined to believe the phrase, "it is what it is" was used all too freely, too often.
For personal safety & sanity, I have ceased communications associated with this person. When I take time to think about this, I realize the selfish agendas that took place. In return, extremely hurtful, traumatic experiences came out of it. This is a painful chapter I am still learning to address and heal with myself.
There are times I'm upset I didn't Save Myself sooner. I wanted to nurture Beautiful things that existed in this person, but it would never be enough to mend the Wounds that existed between us. When Others Get Hurt, it Hurts Together.
Beyond the Looking Glass-
Truths that were Masked
Now being Recognized.
I never Understood why
Moments that turned Ugly
Always sought to Confront Me
and "Challenging" statements.
I tried to be Good to Them,
But this was no use When
they made up their Mind,
Deciding everything Without Me.
If I had ever Questioned
the "Relationship" between us,
it would never be "Enough" as
We Desired Different outcomes.
The Instant I stopped excusing
these irrational behaviors,
I see how it changed things,
in terms of what each Favored.
Many nights I asked myself,
"Is this even Worth It?"
Fooled into believing
Those actions held Merit.
- - - - -
I have been thinking about this for quite some time and been trying to find words to describe the experience. Building some narrative through Poetry has proven difficult for me, so I'm doing my best.
This relationship was Toxic in many ways, but no one ever wanted to believe that. Each person desired different things, but it was never discussed in detail. I can't go back and ask why this even happened, but I'm inclined to believe the phrase, "it is what it is" was used all too freely, too often.
For personal safety & sanity, I have ceased communications associated with this person. When I take time to think about this, I realize the selfish agendas that took place. In return, extremely hurtful, traumatic experiences came out of it. This is a painful chapter I am still learning to address and heal with myself.
There are times I'm upset I didn't Save Myself sooner. I wanted to nurture Beautiful things that existed in this person, but it would never be enough to mend the Wounds that existed between us. When Others Get Hurt, it Hurts Together.
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