Thirty Four and More

Over the course of my life, I’ve been notorious for letting other people and events dictate what happens on My Birthday. From family members gathering us around the dining table for food & cake. From attending open Lounges because my friends were spinning records that day. From inviting all of my friends to the arcade, completely free-styling and letting attendees to Choose-Your-Own-Adventure (CYOA). I realized I don’t feel comfortable being completely surrounded and everyone singing to me. I’ve never felt confident at organizing my own celebrations, let alone accepting the spotlight on a day that’s meant to commemorate me. 

I decided my Birthday would be ‘different’ this year, because it landed on the first Friday in June (06/03). I wanted to take full ownership of that weekend and celebrate in a way that made sense to me. I wanted to do something special for myself and was convinced that whoever decided to show up was all that really mattered. There was no way I could be prepared for everything that set forth, but I moved with confidence that it was meant to be. I lowered my expectations and embraced the journey ahead. As challenging as it was to plan out and follow through, I know this was an experience I needed. 

This year I decided to take a solo road trip from California, through Nevada to Arizona. In all actuality, I’d been wanting to take this long drive since the beginning of 2020, before the pandemic really took off. I hadn’t visited Arizona since we took a family trip in 2015; we were only there to ring in the new year and it was straight back home after that. My main goal was to hit Grand Canyon South Rim on my birthday. Little did I know I’d spend majority of these days on the road. I didn’t realize how many friends and relatives live out that way, but I feel incredibly blessed to know them. Despite my time limit, I was able to spend moments with loved ones every day and made great memories along the way. 

My trip started Thursday evening in Las Vegas, Nevada (06/02). Some friends out that way wanted to host me for one evening, so I decided I’d spend a little time in Sin City. My excitement kept me restless and woke me early the next day, so I took to the freeways and hit the state border by 6:30 AM. My first pit stop was at Kingman, Arizona. I felt stupid at the Mobil station, not knowing how to operate an older gas pump. Thankfully, the attendants were helpful and understanding. Once I fueled up, it was another 4 hours before I hit the national park. The drive had some beautiful scenic views and I had so many mixtapes to keep me entertained.

When I arrived to the Grand Canyon, I truly entered the park blindly, not knowing anything about the campers, hikers or any of the wildlife surrounding. This is my first time in awhile having exited civilization and being fully present with a natural wonder. The weather that day felt pleasant; sunny and breezy. I nearly lost my hat to the Canyon a few times, but I enjoyed walking around the rim and staring at the horizon. The journey getting up there made me feel like I might be a madman, but I stopped caring about all of that and reveled in my efforts; the gorgeous view and experience became the gift I gave to myself.

I set an alarm out for a few hours so I wouldn’t lose track of time. I know it’s counterintuitive to have an outing/vacation with a time limit, but I was warned that I’d likely hit traffic making my way toward Phoenix. The drive back into town had so many scenic roads and views. I didn’t expect to see green fields and thick forests within a desert state, but I’m so glad I drove through it. When I finally made it into the city, I decided to visit an internet-friend first. She had been my main point of contact since I started the trip. When I approached her house, she had a birthday banner hanging out front and balloons decorated around her home. 

Over the course of the weekend, I was able to reconnect with other friends and relatives as well, which made the adventure worthwhile. Everyone was accommodating and offered boarding for me! I was humbled by this entire experience, being catered to and having loved ones offer their time & comfort. At some point on the trip, I lost track of time and started enjoying whatever I had the energy to do. After being on the road for 6+ hours, I realized it’s difficult to bring my adrenaline / excitement down - I felt amped throughout the entire course of the weekend, but greatly enjoyed it. 

This was the first time I’ve done an entire road trip alone. There were so many attractions & destinations I could’ve chosen, that I had a hard time deciding what I wanted to do. It was challenging to plan and organize everything in a way that made sense to me, but I quickly got into the habit of making decisions and enjoying what is. Releasing all of my expectations and allowing my experience to simply exist made the trip that much more enjoyable. At the end of the day, I followed my heart and got everything I desired. While I’m Thankful I made it home safely, I can’t wait to visit again. 

Cheers to my 34 ~ and to many more.

Turn of May, Hot Rider

Hot Fury Tread on Rim

Rid of Anymore Truth

Thirty Four and More