Occasionally, people would open conversation with me about the "random" coincidences in their life, as if a Divine Spirit handed out freebies. They’d talk about how they could imagine something and shortly thereafter, it ‘magically’ appears before them. I refused to believe this phenomenon for awhile, maybe grew jealous even, because these people made it sound like Manifestation is so easy - Simply believing things into existence and then higher powers delivering instantly. These discussions would leave me feeling lowly of myself, as if I didn’t deserve that kind of Power.
It begs the question, What about my own Manifestation abilities? I’ve always wondered, why is it difficult to turn my Dreams into Reality? Where I currently am as an adult, I’m starting to learn that the things I desire in this lifetime require my full attention and devotion to self. They aren’t just things I can meditate with and hope for a miracle. While prayer gives me time to focus and align my thoughts, actively making efforts is where it counts and shows results. I've been sincerely making a point to Do-it-Myself. I wonder if this is what it means when people say, “Doing God’s Work.”
What once seemed like an impossible pipe dream has finally become a reality for me. I took an opportunity to live by myself and now occupy a small space that I call home. As much as I would have wanted to share this experience with someone I trust, it looks like living with another person wasn’t in the cards this time around. When I made the decision to do so, I knew deep down that this kind of space is something I’ve been wanting as long as I could remember. It took all my strength and willingness to move in this direction alone; I realized at this moment that fulfilling my desires is all that matters.
It’s safe to say this experience has been both laborious and liberating at the same time. This move has forced me to take an inventory of everything I’ve acquired and I realize that there’s still so much that I want and should let go of at some point. It’s making me rethink how I occupy space and what truly gives me comfort. When I come home, I think about leading an efficient lifestyle, free of the excess and unnecessary. There are moments when I feel uncertain about my decisions to do so, but I’m convinced that this is exactly where I need to be at this time in my life.
The past few weeks I’ve been hearing the message, “Don’t Worry, God’s Got You.” I’ll be honest: I can’t tell who’s been saying it, but I appreciate the affirmations. I have my family and some close friends to Thank for encouraging this move, supporting me in anyway that they can. While I have a big desire for personal independence, I still crave community and connectedness to others. There are moments I feel I’m doing everything in my power and it’s never enough; practicing gratitude helps ease this burden and my worries. What I’m learning from this experience is that I am more capable than I have given myself credit for.
As exhausting as this experience has been thus far, I’m Thankful I chose this path. Everyday continues presenting challenges, but I understand that everything I receive now is meant for Me.
Immense Fast Flying : Manifesting Myself
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