Honor After Giving

How often is it that you’re given another chance? An opportunity to make amends and try once more. This is an event I needed to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for. It’s almost as if meeting someone for the first time all over again. I’d say this has been one of the most shocking turnabouts I’ve experienced as this year closes. There’s lots to process, but at the moment I’m just Thankful that our souls even willed this to happen. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

Earlier this month, I reconnected with an old friend. Roughly 5 years passed since we had last spoken to or seen one another in person. So much had happened since our departure back then. This gave me lots of anxiety, because I know where we left off wasn’t on the best of terms. Through this experience and others, I’ve learned the importance of holding a safe space to express complex feelings and communicate. My intentions with reuniting was to honor both of us and have an opportunity to air grievances & hardships together. It takes time and effort to rebuild a sense of security and trust, which I hope we can continue doing more regularly. 

What makes me happiest about this entire experience is having the confidence to share openly and genuinely. Since returning, we have had some meaningful, poignant conversations to address where we are with one another. It is incredibly humbling to admit faults and Apologize, but at the same time, I find it empowering to exercise accountability. I am at a point in my life where I am no longer afraid to show vulnerability. More importantly, I aim to be more forthright and honest with the people that I care about. With all sincerity, my experience on this timeline has been both beautiful and bittersweet. 

It’s safe to say that being separated challenged the both of us respectively. One of my fears was that they might not be receptive to the person I am today, because I feel I’ve changed so much. I’m finding out that we have made significant impact in each others lives, so perhaps this reunion was just a matter of time. I sense these last few years allowed us to grow so we can meet our improved selves. I have been actively praying for successful outcomes and hope this shared experience helps both of us step into the best versions of ourselves. 

Although it has been difficult to navigate this situation emotionally, I feel that I’m slowly learning to love and appreciate this person again. I’m being advised to exercise discernment and even some skepticism, but at the same time, my heart wants to continue engaging this person safely. More importantly, I’m giving myself time to learn and grow from this experience. I didn’t know my year would end on this note, but I look forward to whatever tomorrow brings. Here’s to the Future, making new memories as our healed selves come together. Until we meet again.

*****

Honor After Giving

Forgiving One Hart

Go Forth, Given Rain

Forgiving Another.