Dream - Settle Rush Talk

I remember waiting to board a shuttle and an ambiguous person crossed me aggressively. I ignored them at first, but they proceeded to harass me. Every time they opened their mouth to speak, they only became angrier and louder, acting as if I were deaf and blind. Their eyes looked bloodshot, as though they had been crying fire and brimstone. Then flames spat straight from the Devil’s mouth:

“Who the Fuck are You fooling, Bitch? You Are NOTHING. You don’t know Shit about the Real World… You know what the Fuck You are? You’re WEAK, Pussy!”
“I can carry and take care of myself - I do it well without your help, Thank You. Look at You, causing a scene. Be Quiet.”

“NO, Fuck That! You can’t Silence Me. You’re a Stupid Bitch who doesn’t know what’s good for her! No one will do you like I did - Get the Fuck over here, NOW!”
“Excuse Me, is that some type of Threat? You hold no Power over Me. That’s Enough.”

The person shook violently, as though their volcanic mouth was about to erupt again. I walked away, keeping my eyes locked to watch their next move. The moment I turned, they disappeared. I worried the aggressor might follow me, so I tried blending into the crowd.

I started conversation with other passerby’s who looked familiar to me, but everyone I recognized looked disfigured in someway. Either their face had been manipulated or their posture became a hunchback. Everything felt out of place and I stuck out like a sore thumb. I felt exposed to the antagonist, yet at the same time I had no desire to hide. I realize I have every right to exist freely as I want to.

Part of me wanted to see where the aggressor ended up going. Something within me wanted to “fight back,” stand up for myself and let them know it. Whenever I speak for myself, I reinforce my boundaries and become that much stronger. Alas, their presence vanished like vapor. “For Dust they are, and to Dust they shall Return.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My takeaway from this vision is staying on my intended path, regardless of how others will act. In reality, the antagonist in this vision does not exist on my timeline today. They were once an influential person in my life, but no longer serve purpose on the current path. The thought of being stalked in broad daylight disturbs me, but l have to carry on.

Revisiting my memories of this person pains my heart, but it reminds me that I’m still healing from that time and space. The thought of this person used to trigger me much more strongly and intensely, but I sense I have come far enough to acknowledge and let feelings pass. I know that I am capable of so much more than whatever the intrusive thoughts are howling.

Part of my continued journey as an adult involves locating spaces where I am most comfortable being myself. I’ve stated before that I have a desire for community and to be accepted by others, but at the same time I seek refuge in solitude. Someday, I hope to reach a point where I can release fear and exist confidently in public spaces. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Settle Rush Talk
Lest Truth Leaks
Reset that Skull
Shuttle Stalker

https://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2022/02/in-close-rotation.html - In Close Rotation
https://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2021/10/dream-house-of-familiars.html - Dream, House of Familiars
https://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2020/10/dream-peace-maker.html - Dream, the Peace Maker

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