Confession Time: I have this bad habit of passing out with my bedroom lights on. I suspect this developed when I lived in my family home - I say this because I think my father is prone to doing it too. Some roommates have asked about it previously, "did you leave the lights on all night?" and to be honest, I don't have a good explanation for my behavior. To all of the people who have tolerated this: I'm sorry, that's entirely my bad.
It's one of the more challenging patterns to break because I live such a busy schedule. Working a full 9-5 job, pursuing adult education from 6-8 and (Maybe) reserving time for myself at the end of the night. Passing out with the lights on isn't great, but I only have myself to blame. By the time I wake from my "nap," it's the Witching Hour, somewhere around 3-4 AM. That's when I decide to pick myself up and settle down. I think one of my challenges moving forward is falling back asleep after I've woken up.
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The other week, I had the most vivid vision of a dear old friend, and their extended family were present as well. We gathered around and I gave my old friend a big, warm hug; I held on so tight that we both cried a little. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I saw them again within this sacred space. It all happened so quickly, but the sensation and emotions felt right. I haven't seen this person in several years, but it felt so good to be in their presence.
* * * * *
The other week, I had the most vivid vision of a dear old friend, and their extended family were present as well. We gathered around and I gave my old friend a big, warm hug; I held on so tight that we both cried a little. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I saw them again within this sacred space. It all happened so quickly, but the sensation and emotions felt right. I haven't seen this person in several years, but it felt so good to be in their presence.
For context, this person passed away (2024) after battling Cancer for the fourth time (Damn). Losing this person has been incredibly difficult for all of us, because of the massive impact they had in our lives and communities. Death comes unexpectedly, but this person beat cancer multiple times and continued living their best life every day; truly someone who fought a good fight until the very end. From the moment we met to their last days on this earth, our love and companionship felt reciprocal.
Thinking about the last time I physically saw this person was the summer of 2019. They visited Los Angeles to attend one of the local conventions and invited me to hang out. I didn't plan on attending the convention that year, but I offered to drive them around and back to their hostel, since their visits to Southern California were so few and far between. Admittedly, I took a wrong turn and we got stuck in DTLA traffic, but made the most of our time together. Our time spent was so fun.
Something I always loved about this person was their relentless spirit and playful energy; they often brought out the silliness and child-like joy in others. Even in times of darkness and uncertainty, they carried this light-hearted demeanor and did everything in their power to lift up their loved ones. I remember when I got sick with Covid and needed to isolate, they kept me company and messaged me when I felt my lowest. Compassion from someone who spent countless days alone in the Hospital, I felt that.
This person's birthday fell just a few days before mine (06/01) so I felt like our chaotic selves instantly connected on that level. Our Gemini powers were activated and enhanced by one another. Spending time together was always entertaining no matter where we went and I felt encouraged to be my strange and weird self whenever we hung out. I know this person is free from suffering on Earth and resides peacefully in Heaven. I hope this message reaches them so they know just how greatly they are loved.
Something I always loved about this person was their relentless spirit and playful energy; they often brought out the silliness and child-like joy in others. Even in times of darkness and uncertainty, they carried this light-hearted demeanor and did everything in their power to lift up their loved ones. I remember when I got sick with Covid and needed to isolate, they kept me company and messaged me when I felt my lowest. Compassion from someone who spent countless days alone in the Hospital, I felt that.
This person's birthday fell just a few days before mine (06/01) so I felt like our chaotic selves instantly connected on that level. Our Gemini powers were activated and enhanced by one another. Spending time together was always entertaining no matter where we went and I felt encouraged to be my strange and weird self whenever we hung out. I know this person is free from suffering on Earth and resides peacefully in Heaven. I hope this message reaches them so they know just how greatly they are loved.
I miss you, man. Thank You for loving so freely, so I could learn to cherish the authentic parts of myself.
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