I came to a space that I have visited numerous times in the past. I have scaled the walls of this labyrinth many moons ago. I can't recall how many times I've been here, but it feels as though I keep returning to solve a puzzle. This structure always feels the same, but I have no way of pin pointing where one path ends and another begins. You’d think I’d have the maze figured out by now, but I still get lost and can’t find my way back to wherever I started. This place has always challenged me, as I can never figure out which door leads me outside.
Sometimes I feel I’m alone and vulnerable in this space, so I experience anxiety and panic. Sometimes I move past those fears and try looking for an exit. I often find myself blindly walking colorless hallways and sense an ominous presence that lurks deep within the shadows. Insidious minions wait for me from behind closed doors. An unholy beast slips in and out of the background, always threatening my position. I realize that when I am here, I feel as though I'm trapped within its walls and my only hope is to escape one thousand doors.
The other night, I engaged this cryptic space once more. My immediate response was to locate a path that would lead me outside. The moment I passed through an elongated corridor, I found my way toward those dreaded back rooms again. The innermost passage looked candlelit: veiled deeply in black and brown hues, showing the faintest hints of orange. I saw outlines of massive beams holding the structure together. Hanging lanterns slowly faded while taught wires sparked irregular gridlines along the ceilings.
Just when I thought one of the creatures would crawl out of the corners to prey on me, a silhouette waved in the distance. They called out with great enthusiasm. “Hey, I’ve found a passage!” they exclaimed. Without hesitation, I knew exactly who they were: an unmistakable voice brought surprise and comfort. Lo' and behold, the person speaking was My Beloved. How did they navigate a pitch black maze amidst wreckage and disorienting stairways? Seeing his figure glow through the shadows left me speechless.
In my attempts to navigate the thousand-door structure, I’ve only gone further into spaces where I don't feel I belong. I’ve never interacted with other recognizable humans in this setting, because I didn’t think anyone could handle an intense darkness. I remember the person I encountered is not perceivably me, so what ever I might find challenging would likely appear differently to them. What intrigues me more is that they claim to have found a way out. With the time I’ve spent walking circles to locate an exit, they find one by mere chance.
When I view them within this space, I realize I have seen him multiple times within my dreams, even long before this encounter. I believe we have crossed paths energetically, given other context and circumstances. Our relationship to one another felt vastly different back then. I do not equate their presence to some messiah or means of salvation. Rather, I am comforted by the idea of now being accompanied by them. I have yet to exit the dark corridors, but I feel relief knowing My Beloved is just within reach and they are up to the challenges at hand.
"May we walk paths that bring out the best versions of ourselves. Amen."
Sometimes I feel I’m alone and vulnerable in this space, so I experience anxiety and panic. Sometimes I move past those fears and try looking for an exit. I often find myself blindly walking colorless hallways and sense an ominous presence that lurks deep within the shadows. Insidious minions wait for me from behind closed doors. An unholy beast slips in and out of the background, always threatening my position. I realize that when I am here, I feel as though I'm trapped within its walls and my only hope is to escape one thousand doors.
The other night, I engaged this cryptic space once more. My immediate response was to locate a path that would lead me outside. The moment I passed through an elongated corridor, I found my way toward those dreaded back rooms again. The innermost passage looked candlelit: veiled deeply in black and brown hues, showing the faintest hints of orange. I saw outlines of massive beams holding the structure together. Hanging lanterns slowly faded while taught wires sparked irregular gridlines along the ceilings.
Just when I thought one of the creatures would crawl out of the corners to prey on me, a silhouette waved in the distance. They called out with great enthusiasm. “Hey, I’ve found a passage!” they exclaimed. Without hesitation, I knew exactly who they were: an unmistakable voice brought surprise and comfort. Lo' and behold, the person speaking was My Beloved. How did they navigate a pitch black maze amidst wreckage and disorienting stairways? Seeing his figure glow through the shadows left me speechless.
In my attempts to navigate the thousand-door structure, I’ve only gone further into spaces where I don't feel I belong. I’ve never interacted with other recognizable humans in this setting, because I didn’t think anyone could handle an intense darkness. I remember the person I encountered is not perceivably me, so what ever I might find challenging would likely appear differently to them. What intrigues me more is that they claim to have found a way out. With the time I’ve spent walking circles to locate an exit, they find one by mere chance.
When I view them within this space, I realize I have seen him multiple times within my dreams, even long before this encounter. I believe we have crossed paths energetically, given other context and circumstances. Our relationship to one another felt vastly different back then. I do not equate their presence to some messiah or means of salvation. Rather, I am comforted by the idea of now being accompanied by them. I have yet to exit the dark corridors, but I feel relief knowing My Beloved is just within reach and they are up to the challenges at hand.
"May we walk paths that bring out the best versions of ourselves. Amen."
Soon, the sound Road.
Sooth around Node.
Do adorn one's shout.
One Thousand Doors.
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