My dad recently asked if I’m “Happy” in my career and something about it evoked negative feelings for me.
There’s often talk in the office about using “specific verbiage” when addressing the clients, but I don’t see that same type of support given to the staff. Sometimes, there are moments when I don’t know if I’m going to have this job next week. I know there are ways to give constructive criticism without discouraging employees. I’m starting to think maybe I’m slow, and more is expected of me. I realize my current job is teaching me to not take anything personally and that I sincerely need to give myself more grace.
I feel as if I’ve been this position before: pigeonholed into a very specific role. I don’t know if what I’m doing matters, or if my contributions really make a difference. I feel like I have difficulty growing beyond my current status, because this kind of work offers the most financial stability. I always think: how could I support myself if I wasn’t here? It was hard enough finding and securing this position, and in our current economy, I don’t know what other options are available to me.
I think partly what triggered me in Dad’s statement was feeling like I haven’t accomplished much. With the choices that I’ve made, I haven’t had a lot of time to necessarily pour into myself in the ways that I want to. I don’t know that I’m happy with where I am, or if I’m just surviving and making ends meet. I aim to understand and do what I can to the best of my abilities, but I don’t know that it’s enough. I go into work under the assumption that I’m needed, but I know that I’m just as disposable as anyone.
“What do you want to Do with your time?”
When Dad asked this, I almost cried. I didn’t know how to respond to him.
With every year that passes, it feels like Art becomes just a passing season in time. Like many, I wish I could devote to the different forms of art in my life. I don’t have that kind of luxury to spend on myself. When I look at the things that previously brought me joy, I had to let go of those parts at some point, because I discovered more work needed to be done. I remain grateful and Thank God for all the opportunities, but I also actively pray for a life where I have time and access to all of the other things I want in life.
I think about, “the creative adult is the child who survived,” and “if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.” Maybe I’m asking for too much when I don’t have that kind of time.
# # # # #
Learn Actions, Be Stumped
No Man Celebrates Stupid
Contemplate in bad users
Subordinate Placements
There’s often talk in the office about using “specific verbiage” when addressing the clients, but I don’t see that same type of support given to the staff. Sometimes, there are moments when I don’t know if I’m going to have this job next week. I know there are ways to give constructive criticism without discouraging employees. I’m starting to think maybe I’m slow, and more is expected of me. I realize my current job is teaching me to not take anything personally and that I sincerely need to give myself more grace.
I feel as if I’ve been this position before: pigeonholed into a very specific role. I don’t know if what I’m doing matters, or if my contributions really make a difference. I feel like I have difficulty growing beyond my current status, because this kind of work offers the most financial stability. I always think: how could I support myself if I wasn’t here? It was hard enough finding and securing this position, and in our current economy, I don’t know what other options are available to me.
I think partly what triggered me in Dad’s statement was feeling like I haven’t accomplished much. With the choices that I’ve made, I haven’t had a lot of time to necessarily pour into myself in the ways that I want to. I don’t know that I’m happy with where I am, or if I’m just surviving and making ends meet. I aim to understand and do what I can to the best of my abilities, but I don’t know that it’s enough. I go into work under the assumption that I’m needed, but I know that I’m just as disposable as anyone.
“What do you want to Do with your time?”
When Dad asked this, I almost cried. I didn’t know how to respond to him.
With every year that passes, it feels like Art becomes just a passing season in time. Like many, I wish I could devote to the different forms of art in my life. I don’t have that kind of luxury to spend on myself. When I look at the things that previously brought me joy, I had to let go of those parts at some point, because I discovered more work needed to be done. I remain grateful and Thank God for all the opportunities, but I also actively pray for a life where I have time and access to all of the other things I want in life.
I think about, “the creative adult is the child who survived,” and “if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.” Maybe I’m asking for too much when I don’t have that kind of time.
# # # # #
Learn Actions, Be Stumped
No Man Celebrates Stupid
Contemplate in bad users
Subordinate Placements
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