Within the last month or so, I started a job with limited information and training. Currently, I provide transportation, support and resources to adult clients on the autistic spectrum. I’ve been able to review and record their behaviors at various internship & volunteer sites. I wasn’t provided many notes on any of the clients I’ve assisted thus far, so most of what I know is through inquiry or observation. Depending on the client, they might show a combination of verbal, non-verbal, moodiness & physical expression.
Part of the job involves preparing daily reports for each client that I’ve been assigned to work with. This job has put me in a hyper-vigilant state. I don’t think I’ve experienced this part of myself in awhile, but there’s definitely a level of anxiety that comes with it. I’ve notated as many interactions possible, whether the clients are receptive to me or not. There are so many minute details and micro-aggressions that can occur, even when sitting quietly with the clients.
This job is reminding me about the importance of self respect as well as self preservation. As much as I want to be of service to these clients, there are certain people that have not been receptive of me whatsoever. I understand that certain autistic individuals are challenged when it comes to new people, environments or change. Despite my attempts to approach them with respect and empathy, some of the clients have zero desire to cooperate or communicate. It’s been difficult removing myself emotionally from this, because I want to resolve tension, but I don’t see it happening.
Imagine trying to establish a neutral working relationship with an autistic adult: Whenever you choose to engage this person, you are only ever met with their silence or indifference. I’ve been ignored multiple times, whether it be through text, phone call, or personal confrontation. I’m at a point where I no longer feel comfortable speaking directly with the client, because I know my efforts will go unnoticed. All of these details have been noted in my reports of course. This part of the system, the program, whatever you want to call it, confuses me: if the staff knows that they have an extremely difficult client and they also know that the client is uncomfortable with Me specifically, why do I keep getting assigned to help them?
Part of the job involves preparing daily reports for each client that I’ve been assigned to work with. This job has put me in a hyper-vigilant state. I don’t think I’ve experienced this part of myself in awhile, but there’s definitely a level of anxiety that comes with it. I’ve notated as many interactions possible, whether the clients are receptive to me or not. There are so many minute details and micro-aggressions that can occur, even when sitting quietly with the clients.
This job is reminding me about the importance of self respect as well as self preservation. As much as I want to be of service to these clients, there are certain people that have not been receptive of me whatsoever. I understand that certain autistic individuals are challenged when it comes to new people, environments or change. Despite my attempts to approach them with respect and empathy, some of the clients have zero desire to cooperate or communicate. It’s been difficult removing myself emotionally from this, because I want to resolve tension, but I don’t see it happening.
Imagine trying to establish a neutral working relationship with an autistic adult: Whenever you choose to engage this person, you are only ever met with their silence or indifference. I’ve been ignored multiple times, whether it be through text, phone call, or personal confrontation. I’m at a point where I no longer feel comfortable speaking directly with the client, because I know my efforts will go unnoticed. All of these details have been noted in my reports of course. This part of the system, the program, whatever you want to call it, confuses me: if the staff knows that they have an extremely difficult client and they also know that the client is uncomfortable with Me specifically, why do I keep getting assigned to help them?
What is this challenge actually trying to teach me?
Understanding the complexities and intricacies within the autistic spectrum is by no means easy. I didn’t approach this job thinking I would be anyone’s hero or friend, but I also wanted to give it a try because no other roles were available to me. The experience is showing me that every person’s comfort level and needs are truly unique. Every client has their own challenges to navigate; my role in the program is to offer assistance in any capacity that I can. It’s unrealistic to cater to each client perfectly, so I’ve decided to remove myself from that narrative.
I’ve come to the conclusion that some people don’t know peace and make every effort to exacerbate their own discomfort. I’m very sorry that it’s not working out and I hope that they find peace of mind on their own terms. That is all.
# # # # #
Why One Cape Knotted
Hated Note Knew Copy
Detach Yet Know Open
They Don’t Know Peace
Understanding the complexities and intricacies within the autistic spectrum is by no means easy. I didn’t approach this job thinking I would be anyone’s hero or friend, but I also wanted to give it a try because no other roles were available to me. The experience is showing me that every person’s comfort level and needs are truly unique. Every client has their own challenges to navigate; my role in the program is to offer assistance in any capacity that I can. It’s unrealistic to cater to each client perfectly, so I’ve decided to remove myself from that narrative.
I’ve come to the conclusion that some people don’t know peace and make every effort to exacerbate their own discomfort. I’m very sorry that it’s not working out and I hope that they find peace of mind on their own terms. That is all.
# # # # #
Why One Cape Knotted
Hated Note Knew Copy
Detach Yet Know Open
They Don’t Know Peace
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