Earlier this year, one of my siblings was admitted to the hospital. It stunned me to receive messages from a family member about to be taken to the Emergency Room. Unsure what to do, I froze when I saw the texts. I couldn’t move or think, but my boyfriend was with me when I got the news. We paused from our entertainment to assess the situation; I lied down catatonic, and he gently lied down beside me. I'm thankful my boyfriend was present with me, as he respectfully acknowledged my distress and let me decide what I needed to do in that moment.
The following day, my boyfriend told me that he would make an effort to see my sibling in the hospital. I didn’t put this expectation on him, but I felt overjoyed when he told me. I imagine it might be difficult for other people if they had to recover all alone; I would have challenges if it were me in the hospital bed. Time moves incredibly slow when all you’re able to do is lie down - You have to find ways to keep yourself mentally well and stabilize your systems. I felt relief knowing my significant other is willing to support someone that I love and care about.
When we arrived to the facility, there weren’t any concierge staff to help check us in. We followed the instructions from my family texts and located them with relative ease. I remember walking into the room and they were asleep on the hospital bed. The only sounds were electronic beeps monitoring their pulse. Something about them looked-off; their arms looked so thin and weak. I leaned over to kiss their forehead and then they woke up. It was difficult for me to see them in this state, so I sat quietly while they gathered themselves to have a conversation. When they spoke, I started feeling teary.
From these experiences, I feel so fortunate to have a romantic partner who understands the significance of the family in my life and respects the time I reserve for them. In previous situations, it felt difficult for me to talk about my family in front of others. I feared receiving criticism or rejection because of the way my family lives and operates. That’s nobody’s concern but their own. As an adult, I’ve learned that I’m someone who goes as far as I can to support and show up for my loved ones. The older I get, the clearer it is who holds this much value to me. To have a tender and caring boyfriend through these moments has made my efforts feel less-heavy.
I wasn’t sure if anyone would visit my sibling while they stayed in the hospital, so I took it upon myself to drop by after my shift ended. When I arrived, my sibling assured me they were on a path to recovery, but they were waiting for the doctor’s approval for discharge. I took our time together to try having a heart-to-heart conversation. Admittedly, we've drifted apart these past few years, so I thought nurturing our relationship would bring us good. The night I returned from the visit, I was informed that my sibling switched rooms so they could have privacy for sleeping.
Having more "mature" conversations with any of my siblings still feels a little unusual for me, because I am considered the Youngest. Our conversations aren't always about which one of us is bearing bad news, but the older we get, I feel genuine truth in the ways that my siblings speak to me. Maybe the purpose of having challenging discussions with each other is to lessen our discomfort around them and find appropriate ways to help each other. With all sincerity, I want to continue supporting my siblings in any capacity that I can as we move forward.
Having more "mature" conversations with any of my siblings still feels a little unusual for me, because I am considered the Youngest. Our conversations aren't always about which one of us is bearing bad news, but the older we get, I feel genuine truth in the ways that my siblings speak to me. Maybe the purpose of having challenging discussions with each other is to lessen our discomfort around them and find appropriate ways to help each other. With all sincerity, I want to continue supporting my siblings in any capacity that I can as we move forward.
The following day, my boyfriend told me that he would make an effort to see my sibling in the hospital. I didn’t put this expectation on him, but I felt overjoyed when he told me. I imagine it might be difficult for other people if they had to recover all alone; I would have challenges if it were me in the hospital bed. Time moves incredibly slow when all you’re able to do is lie down - You have to find ways to keep yourself mentally well and stabilize your systems. I felt relief knowing my significant other is willing to support someone that I love and care about.
Just a few months later, I received news from a family-group text saying that another family member was being sent to the Hospital, for different complications. Coincidentally, it happened during the weekend that my boyfriend and I were attending Wondercon (Anaheim, CA). With respect to our time at the convention, I let my boyfriend know that I wanted to support my family in the next city over. I wanted to check-in and make sure that everything was okay. Again, I didn’t place expectations on my boyfriend and let him choose to be with the art community if he desired. My boyfriend very graciously offered to drive us to the Hospital later that night.
When we arrived to the facility, there weren’t any concierge staff to help check us in. We followed the instructions from my family texts and located them with relative ease. I remember walking into the room and they were asleep on the hospital bed. The only sounds were electronic beeps monitoring their pulse. Something about them looked-off; their arms looked so thin and weak. I leaned over to kiss their forehead and then they woke up. It was difficult for me to see them in this state, so I sat quietly while they gathered themselves to have a conversation. When they spoke, I started feeling teary.
“What’s the matter; Why are you crying?” They asked.
“She’s worried about you … But the doctors and nurses here will take care of you.” My boyfriend said.
My family member felt comfortable sharing their hospital experience with us and got a little TMI’ at one point. Even though it felt unusual hearing them speak about their physiological challenges, it tells me that this person trusted the both of us and spoke in clear confidence. Then, something sweet happened: My boyfriend and family member shared conversations about their worldly travels and started bonding together. It was so nice to hear them chat and interact, it broke my tears and made me smile. I felt much comfort in their presence together.
From these experiences, I feel so fortunate to have a romantic partner who understands the significance of the family in my life and respects the time I reserve for them. In previous situations, it felt difficult for me to talk about my family in front of others. I feared receiving criticism or rejection because of the way my family lives and operates. That’s nobody’s concern but their own. As an adult, I’ve learned that I’m someone who goes as far as I can to support and show up for my loved ones. The older I get, the clearer it is who holds this much value to me. To have a tender and caring boyfriend through these moments has made my efforts feel less-heavy.
To know that my family welcomes and accepts the person I adore truly warms my heart. I am grateful for the bond.
Magnetic Core Memory
More come crying tame
My grim core can emote
Matic Emergency Room
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