Recently, I started learning about Hetero-pessimism; a fairly modern social concept. My understanding of it being a type of cynicism based on heterosexual couples’ standards. Where individuals of the opposite sex are likely performative in nature, but otherwise unsatisfied in their intimate-partner relationships. Giving this kind of behavior a name has made me reconsider many interactions in the past. It raises the question, “Are Straight People Okay?” Joking around about the ole’ Ball and Chain is a perfect example of this.
“When did you realize your partner hated you?” I had to rethink nearly every situation when I felt minimized by another person. I’m convinced now that certain people only care about you when it benefits them. My younger self received attention from a rather antagonistic person, and although our interactions were detrimental, that naive version of me still felt noticed in some way. The reality of it being our banter and conflict only fostered hostility and abuse. I ignored the negative behaviors and disrespect was accepted as the norm for too long.
“You can’t live with em and can’t live without ‘em.” Sound familiar at all? I used to hear this quote very often from the antagonist, who didn’t take relationships seriously. At this point on the timeline, I realize the person saying it may have been emotionally reliant on all the other people in their life. Those so-called “relationships” seemed one-sided, or lacking some kind of effort from them. No surprise there. The younger version of me may have felt sorry for them in the past, but I’ve since then come to learn that this person is pathetic and doesn't deserve my grace.
Years ago, an old friend said something along the lines of, “You deserve so much more than what you actually allow.” Maybe the antagonist from the past didn’t actually spawn hate, but when my values didn’t align with theirs, I was automatically perceived as the problematic one. Talk about double-standards; make it make sense, please. The person I am today doesn’t entertain any of the one-sided nonsense. I have a better understanding of where my boundaries are and I don’t compromise my integrity for someone’s approval. Turns out you really can’t live with ‘em. Oh Well.
* * * * *
With Mental Vice
Vent with Malice
Cave when I’m Tilt
Can’t Live with ‘em
“When did you realize your partner hated you?” I had to rethink nearly every situation when I felt minimized by another person. I’m convinced now that certain people only care about you when it benefits them. My younger self received attention from a rather antagonistic person, and although our interactions were detrimental, that naive version of me still felt noticed in some way. The reality of it being our banter and conflict only fostered hostility and abuse. I ignored the negative behaviors and disrespect was accepted as the norm for too long.
“You can’t live with em and can’t live without ‘em.” Sound familiar at all? I used to hear this quote very often from the antagonist, who didn’t take relationships seriously. At this point on the timeline, I realize the person saying it may have been emotionally reliant on all the other people in their life. Those so-called “relationships” seemed one-sided, or lacking some kind of effort from them. No surprise there. The younger version of me may have felt sorry for them in the past, but I’ve since then come to learn that this person is pathetic and doesn't deserve my grace.
Years ago, an old friend said something along the lines of, “You deserve so much more than what you actually allow.” Maybe the antagonist from the past didn’t actually spawn hate, but when my values didn’t align with theirs, I was automatically perceived as the problematic one. Talk about double-standards; make it make sense, please. The person I am today doesn’t entertain any of the one-sided nonsense. I have a better understanding of where my boundaries are and I don’t compromise my integrity for someone’s approval. Turns out you really can’t live with ‘em. Oh Well.
* * * * *
With Mental Vice
Vent with Malice
Cave when I’m Tilt
Can’t Live with ‘em
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