Loyalty over something Temporary

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The Lunar Year 2018 celebrates the Dog. What do we most commonly associate with canine companions? Their loyalty, of course. So I thought that this would be the year to observe this quality in others - Currently, I'm having difficulty finding it; I'm Lost.

Lately, I’ll hear the word “Loyalty“ and it strikes me like a bell. The sound rings in my ears and triggers something deep inside. Perhaps it's a message that I’m supposed to receive, but what could it mean? Am I suppose to prove my Loyalty to someone specifically? Is this something others assume and expect of me? Maybe this is an aspect of life that I’ve been looking for subconsciously, but the search hasn't been well received. That word alone, Loyalty, is so strong that whenever I hear it, I feel as though I'm being reminded of what’s missing.

It's nice knowing that others care about your personal success, but how many are willing to stand by when your growth causes pain? What defines Loyalty within friendships? I don't expect people to be at my side all the time, but I do want to know that they still care. It's challenging for me to gauge this aspect when the enthusiasm isn't there. Acquaintances will come and go with the seasons and I've been told that the term for that is best known as, "Fair-Weathered". This makes me think that certain people only make appearances in your life, just to be seen.

Sincerity paired with Loyalty sounds like genuine companionship to me - Sharing meaningful experiences and growing alongside people that you care about holds great importance. Sometimes, however, I can't help but think that these qualities are lacking in certain relationships. I know people have different interpersonal goals and agendas. I think It's upsetting when the respect and care you offer to others isn't reciprocated. I have difficulty making appearances just to save face. It's through these observations, I realized how much I value emotional investments in others.

- - - - -
a WAR is LOST (part 2 of 2).

When I originally started this entry, I wanted to combine it with "Weeds Among Roses" (WAR) and title the revision, "Lost at War" or "War is Lost". Both essays revolve around deep, internal concepts I'm still sorting out. I've been letting it sit in the back of my mind and the entry only scratches the surface of what’s happening. I can't say how far along I am in terms of resolution, but acknowledging these issues helps me recognize and look for some lesson. This series is inspired in part by Karriem Riggins, “Alone Together” on Stones Throw: a two-disc compilation released as individual records, meant to be heard as one album. And there you have it, folks. Thanks for Reading.

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