These past few months, I've really started questioning my presence with others. People desire connection, some more than others, so I’m learning who's worth that time and attention. I'd like to set the record: I don’t think myself better than anyone. However, I am identifying where and when my presence is valued. Majority of this has to do with how I view myself and how I think others view me - how I think they should, anyway. Although I can’t control what others see, I always try to bring the best version of myself forward.
To be more precise, I've been observing friendships: short-lived, long-lasting and the passer-bys in between. I’m learning to recognize my presence among others. Having grown up with an introverted personality makes it challenging for me to reach out and build individual relationships, let alone strengthen or reinforce existing ones. As I'm trying to improve this social aspect of myself, I'm taking time to think about my emotional responses to these things. I'm told that I'm hard to understand, because my intentions & expressions aren't always clear. Another item for me to work on.
People are so easily swayed by the word "friend", but does the relationship serve any good if I‘m not improving your life? How does my presence enrich you? What qualities do I bring forward? It's easy to turn these questions onto another person, but I don't know if anyone openly accepts rejection. I'm quick to say, "I'm not helping You grow as a person." I find myself vanishing from empty relationships, because I no longer see us flourishing in the same fields. Someone recently told me, "It's okay to drift. That just means You're Growing."
The best thing I can say: Strive to become the best that you can be, but realize when you've outgrown me. See this as I see myself now - I'm a weed among roses, in your company.
- - - - -
a WAR is LOST (part 1 of 2).
Besides my typical mental blocks, I struggled with this particular entry for nearly a month, as certain external challenges have gotten in the way of creativity. Just when I thought I had good momentum going (fitness, studies, continued education), my "kingdom" fell apart. Not all is lost: starting over forces you to think about what you need versus what you want. Be aware of how the world changes around you and remember to actively seek change (adapt) within yourself.
http://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2018/03/loyalty-over-something-temporary.html - part 2 of 2 - "LOST"
To be more precise, I've been observing friendships: short-lived, long-lasting and the passer-bys in between. I’m learning to recognize my presence among others. Having grown up with an introverted personality makes it challenging for me to reach out and build individual relationships, let alone strengthen or reinforce existing ones. As I'm trying to improve this social aspect of myself, I'm taking time to think about my emotional responses to these things. I'm told that I'm hard to understand, because my intentions & expressions aren't always clear. Another item for me to work on.
People are so easily swayed by the word "friend", but does the relationship serve any good if I‘m not improving your life? How does my presence enrich you? What qualities do I bring forward? It's easy to turn these questions onto another person, but I don't know if anyone openly accepts rejection. I'm quick to say, "I'm not helping You grow as a person." I find myself vanishing from empty relationships, because I no longer see us flourishing in the same fields. Someone recently told me, "It's okay to drift. That just means You're Growing."
The best thing I can say: Strive to become the best that you can be, but realize when you've outgrown me. See this as I see myself now - I'm a weed among roses, in your company.
- - - - -
a WAR is LOST (part 1 of 2).
Besides my typical mental blocks, I struggled with this particular entry for nearly a month, as certain external challenges have gotten in the way of creativity. Just when I thought I had good momentum going (fitness, studies, continued education), my "kingdom" fell apart. Not all is lost: starting over forces you to think about what you need versus what you want. Be aware of how the world changes around you and remember to actively seek change (adapt) within yourself.
http://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2018/03/loyalty-over-something-temporary.html - part 2 of 2 - "LOST"
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