Do Not Dwell

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Since publishing my previous entry, “HAUS,” some have suggested that I try communicating with the people I live with to see what their issues are. To identify any problems and work toward resolving them. On this day that I made an attempt, I was ignored and outright rejected by them. I was not exiled from the house, but I was disrespected by my brother and sister in law over something I was trying to understand. They said I am not valued or appreciated - So why do or say anything else at this point? 

This afternoon, I overheard my niece crying downstairs. I want to say this happens on a fairly regular basis during the spare moments that I’m actually at home. Today being my day off from work, I could no longer tolerate it. When I came downstairs to find out what was happening, I saw she was outside of the bedroom crying in the hallway. Quinn grew silent as she watched me approaching; she weeped, pointing at the closed door. The mother stepped outside and said, “Are you done misbehaving?”

I started asking questions, “What is she doing that’s misbehaving? What did you tell her not to do?” 
She snapped back, “It doesn’t matter! She’s my child, She’s misbehaving!” 
“I‘m trying to understand why she’s outside of the bedroom unattended,” 
“She’s not unattended, I was paying attention to her,” 
“Then why was the bedroom door closed?” 
So my brother, the father, replied:
“Your input is not valued by anyone here. You don’t appreciate anyone’s input and your input is not valued by anyone. If you don’t like it, you can call the police.” 
“Okay, I will.” I quietly left to my bedroom. 

Rather than contacting the police, I reached out to Child Protective Services for some type of assistance. Despite my attempts to explain what I believe has been happening, there is not enough evidence to support any child abuse or neglect is present. The CPS agent said that their actions could be their style of parenting -in their own words, “this isn’t as nearly as bad as the cases we study.” At this moment, I felt completely useless. I’m not trying to make false claims, but I believe the parents aren’t making an effort to console or support their child emotionally. This is bothersome and I don’t know that anyone else acknowledges it.

I’m not going to lie; everything I heard and witnessed left me feeling greatly offended and deeply hurt. Mind you, I have not cursed, yelled or said any horrible things to any of them - Yet this is how they respond to me actually reaching out to them. My brother and sister in law have the audacity to say such things and speak with that tone. After all of the things I’ve done to help out; whether it be cleaning, tending to their children when they would not, in this case offer another form of resolve. These are thankless tasks that no one cares for, apparently. There is nothing I could possibly do or say to assist them any further. I decided there was nothing there for me and left.

This serves as a reminder that I do not feel welcome in a place that is supposedly my home. I have no intention of spending anymore of my time with these people. Despite my attempts to bond with my niece and nephew, I’m sad to say that I am not comfortable with their parents. I’ve tried being civil in my actions and offer intervention, only to be rejected by them. I’m done trying to connect with them and will not take part of this charade. If there’s anything I’ve learned from today, I will not linger on something out of my control. 

Do not Dwell where You are not wanted. Do Not Disturb them.
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