As of late, I’ve been thinking about how I have acted toward my niece, Kariel, in the past. I’m talking about when we were all children living together under the same roof. We’re young adults now, but have grown in very different directions. Despite being connected on all forms of social media, I feel estranged from her and rarely interact. I see now that I was not the nicest aunt or sibling to her. I’m sorry that I could not be a better person for someone who has already grown up. As an adult, I realize I should have changed my attitude and behaviors toward her sooner. Maybe we would have aged with a stronger, more substantial family bond. I don’t know if my message means anything from one young woman to another, but I gathered the courage to apologize for the way I‘ve been living and treating her all of these years.
It dawned on me that I’m working to be a better person for the infants, Quinn and Ace. However, their parents do not want me near them or to interact with their children, for reasons unknown to me. It breaks my heart that they refuse someone who wants to nurture and embrace their kids. They view me as if I’m a monster, constantly telling me that I’m unwanted and my opinions are unappreciated. Their father (my brother) does not hesitate to tell me that I am not valued. All I would want is to help and nurture their kids. I don’t know what I have done, or what makes them demonize my image in such a way. I have assisted them several times with little to no Thanks or Gratitude. Even as they act defensively toward me, not once have I cursed or sworn at them. It breaks my heart that when I try to lend my helping hand, they refuse the offer and bar me.
I have done Nothing to harm either the parents or their children. I have cleaned after them with little to no appreciation. Previously, I baby-sat my niece when her parents were away. I purchased their own mini fridge, but was not given any form of gratitude- Instead, the reimbursement came from My Mom and Dad. I don’t know what I’m personally doing that makes them believe I‘m against my brother, his spouse or their children. I believe he’s aggressive toward me as the scapegoat for his own faults and mistakes. My brother told me to “contact the police” if I didn’t like what I saw. I haven’t filed any reports to Child Protective Services, but each event brings me closer to that point. If they are so concerned about having their children taken away, why aren’t they doing something to improve their role as Parents? Why aren’t they actively working toward changing their lives for their kids? I wish they would stop making excuses for poor behaviors & attitudes.
I have done Nothing to harm either the parents or their children. I have cleaned after them with little to no appreciation. Previously, I baby-sat my niece when her parents were away. I purchased their own mini fridge, but was not given any form of gratitude- Instead, the reimbursement came from My Mom and Dad. I don’t know what I’m personally doing that makes them believe I‘m against my brother, his spouse or their children. I believe he’s aggressive toward me as the scapegoat for his own faults and mistakes. My brother told me to “contact the police” if I didn’t like what I saw. I haven’t filed any reports to Child Protective Services, but each event brings me closer to that point. If they are so concerned about having their children taken away, why aren’t they doing something to improve their role as Parents? Why aren’t they actively working toward changing their lives for their kids? I wish they would stop making excuses for poor behaviors & attitudes.
My mother told me that she prays for all of us, but I do not expect God’s Will to be done when someone refuses those that actually want to help them. If these people do not want me to assist, then I would hope that someone else intervene and see the reality for what it is. I know when the grandparents hear their children cry, their hearts must ache as much as anyone. It takes more effort than rocking a child in their cradle; babies need someone to hold and embrace them. Infants grow in the gardens they‘re planted, based on the examples we set for them. I have offered this point of view and attempted to comfort my niece and nephew, only to be denied several times and be told that I am not welcome in the home we share. The house grows silent when this happens; witnesses are present, even their children see this event. Is this the world you envisioned your grandchildren in?
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Note - This entry has been edited from a series of messages I have attempted to communicate with my niece, Kariel and my own parents. I often question if I’m doing “the right thing” to step in and help them out in ways I would think appropriate, but I’m starting to see that this is one situation I am completely forbidden from. I have chosen to make my messages permanently visible, so that I may remember why I am not allowed to be an aunt around any of them. It doesn't dismiss anything or take away the pain I feel from it. If they manage to find this: I'm sorry for trying to be present. Please take time to reevaluate your actions. Stop blaming those who are only trying to help you. Give a Shit about the things that you allow into your life. Accept your responsibilities and be an active Parent. ~ Thank You to those who took the time to read this. // Signed, a Bereaved Guardian.
Related Content:
http://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2018/07/do-not-dwell.html - “Do Not Dwell” (Do Not Disturb)
http://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2018/07/harboring-unnecessary-selfishness.html - “Harboring An Unnecessary Selfishness” (HAUS)
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