Ten years ago, I entered the world of medicine as a pharmacy technician. This wasn’t my first choice, but I pursued at my mother’s recommendation, who encouraged me every step of the way. The moment I passed the exams and obtained my license, my pharmacy internship hired me immediately. I remember the manager said I was working so hard, she wanted me on their payroll right away. What followed marked my first experiences with patient-care. Being monolingual in Los Angeles showed me how challenging the role would become, so I decided not to continue the path any longer than my license was active.
After resigning from the pharmacy, I shifted my focus to gaining administrative skills and found clerical work at an accounting office. I did every task that was asked of me and ended up inheriting their office inventory management. I had an incredibly strong work ethic and became highly favored by the employer. When the boss offered to promote me to the front desk, I actually declined the position. I didn’t feel comfortable being the first face that clients see when they stepped into that office.
I’ll never forget when my coworkers commended me with some back-handed compliments. I remember someone told me I was great for their team, but I wasn’t meant to be seated at the front. I found their comment insulting and still struggle with the idea at times. In hindsight, declining the front desk role was actually a blessing in disguise, when I learned that some of the accountant’s clients had racial biases and openly discriminated people of color. I left the firm Summer of 2020, in the middle of a global crisis and active protests.
During the pandemic, I pursued healthcare again, but this time, I applied to be an administrative assistant. In all honesty, I second-guessed myself in the beginning and thought seeking this kind of career in the middle of a quarantine might be crazy. I knew the risks and accepted the challenge: becoming a Front-Line worker, being the first-point of contact for all inquiring clients. One of the aspects that initially gave me confidence to work in this position was having mask-mandates and only allowing scheduled appointments in office during this time.
As the year progressed, mask-mandates were lifted and the doors were unlocked for the patients to walk freely in and out of the building. By that time, I felt well-established in my role, but continued facing challenges as with any profession. Often working with people who abuse office policies and sometimes communicated with clients who constantly disrespected the front staff. I decided to move on because I had a desire to grow beyond what I knew the company could offer. Working with this team was actually one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in my career.
For the last few months, I’ve worked in a Mental Health outpatient program. When I came aboard, I thought I could handle the proposed workflow. In all actuality, I haven’t received much direction and often feel Lost. I was under the impression that I might have supporting staff within the department, but I suspect I’m the only one in it. Within my short time, I’ve learned that this role demands a great deal of planning and foresight. The feeling of Urgency in these settings is unbelievably high; I don’t think I’ve ever worked in a position that’s made me feel so anxious. In addition to all of the problem solving and detective work, I feel incredibly forgetful and this just contributes to the detriment of the office.
When I originally started as a Technician, I used to fantasize about someday working in a Hospital, because I thought that would be the best that I could ever do. Now that I’ve had an opportunity to exercise my qualities, I’ve never felt so inadequate. Accepting my failures has been difficult; I feel that giving my best is not enough for what my superiors are asking of me. I find it so challenging to grow when I feel I’m always about to drown. There’s little room for error and I don't want to keep pushing that boundary. I haven’t been here long enough to forge connections, or make much of a difference, in my opinion anyway. I think what upsets me most is believing that I could succeed, but falling short of everything.
I can’t say what my next move will be. I’ve been reflecting all my life choices to this point and what I have to get done.
# # # # #
Omit a Niche Change
Technician Homage
High Octane Cinema
A Cog in the Machine
After resigning from the pharmacy, I shifted my focus to gaining administrative skills and found clerical work at an accounting office. I did every task that was asked of me and ended up inheriting their office inventory management. I had an incredibly strong work ethic and became highly favored by the employer. When the boss offered to promote me to the front desk, I actually declined the position. I didn’t feel comfortable being the first face that clients see when they stepped into that office.
I’ll never forget when my coworkers commended me with some back-handed compliments. I remember someone told me I was great for their team, but I wasn’t meant to be seated at the front. I found their comment insulting and still struggle with the idea at times. In hindsight, declining the front desk role was actually a blessing in disguise, when I learned that some of the accountant’s clients had racial biases and openly discriminated people of color. I left the firm Summer of 2020, in the middle of a global crisis and active protests.
During the pandemic, I pursued healthcare again, but this time, I applied to be an administrative assistant. In all honesty, I second-guessed myself in the beginning and thought seeking this kind of career in the middle of a quarantine might be crazy. I knew the risks and accepted the challenge: becoming a Front-Line worker, being the first-point of contact for all inquiring clients. One of the aspects that initially gave me confidence to work in this position was having mask-mandates and only allowing scheduled appointments in office during this time.
As the year progressed, mask-mandates were lifted and the doors were unlocked for the patients to walk freely in and out of the building. By that time, I felt well-established in my role, but continued facing challenges as with any profession. Often working with people who abuse office policies and sometimes communicated with clients who constantly disrespected the front staff. I decided to move on because I had a desire to grow beyond what I knew the company could offer. Working with this team was actually one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in my career.
For the last few months, I’ve worked in a Mental Health outpatient program. When I came aboard, I thought I could handle the proposed workflow. In all actuality, I haven’t received much direction and often feel Lost. I was under the impression that I might have supporting staff within the department, but I suspect I’m the only one in it. Within my short time, I’ve learned that this role demands a great deal of planning and foresight. The feeling of Urgency in these settings is unbelievably high; I don’t think I’ve ever worked in a position that’s made me feel so anxious. In addition to all of the problem solving and detective work, I feel incredibly forgetful and this just contributes to the detriment of the office.
When I originally started as a Technician, I used to fantasize about someday working in a Hospital, because I thought that would be the best that I could ever do. Now that I’ve had an opportunity to exercise my qualities, I’ve never felt so inadequate. Accepting my failures has been difficult; I feel that giving my best is not enough for what my superiors are asking of me. I find it so challenging to grow when I feel I’m always about to drown. There’s little room for error and I don't want to keep pushing that boundary. I haven’t been here long enough to forge connections, or make much of a difference, in my opinion anyway. I think what upsets me most is believing that I could succeed, but falling short of everything.
I can’t say what my next move will be. I’ve been reflecting all my life choices to this point and what I have to get done.
# # # # #
Omit a Niche Change
Technician Homage
High Octane Cinema
A Cog in the Machine
Related:
https://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2024/12/she-connects-that-gain.html - Change is the Constant
https://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2024/10/place-your-bets.html - Place Your Bets
https://atcampiris.blogspot.com/2021/08/in-relent-for-work.html - Front Line Worker
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