Dad, our Public Speaker

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Ever since childhood, Dad was always the person who initiated group conversation with everyone at the dinner table. Even as my siblings and I got older, there was always some conscious effort to gather for Family dinner. It was an activity that came with purpose: to eat together and communicate, so this was accepted as our norm. From what I’ve learned, my dad took this tradition from his father, who was an Attorney during his lifetime. I’ve been told people in that profession Enjoy hearing themselves talk - and As it would seem, the Apple did not fall far from the Tree. I’m not writing this to put my Dad on blast, but he has a tendency to rule the conversation with all of his anecdotes & ramblings.

Dad would always say something like, “Your Mom and I are Here, whenever You need Us.” Then he would follow up with the story about when our family arrived to the United States before I was born - Or make an expression of the challenges he’s been through and overcoming. I understand my Dad says these things to communicate and relate to his children. These topics often intimidated me from being verbal around my family, because I'm not comfortable addressing my issues with everyone listening. My problems always seemed minuscule compared to the struggles my Father constantly addresses. Instead of talking about myself, I learned to sit quietly and observe everyone else.

These past few months, I’ve shared much needed discussions with my Father. As challenging as it has been, Dad now sees that I listen intently and am sensitive to his goals as a person. I’ve practiced more openness and expression, because I know there may be certain words that Dad may not receive from anyone else. As we have opened this channel of communication, I recognize not everyone is willing to accept certain Truths. Even as an adult, I‘m pensive to approach him, because I don’t know how he would respond to my personal hardships. Dad and I have been discussing our views & experiences and this shows me a side of my father I may have overlooked in the past. I’m more receptive toward him because he’s making the effort to be emotionally available to us.

The other week, Dad was very honest with me and wanted to talk about, “One of the Biggest Regrets in Life.” His expression stemmed from not spending "enough" Time with me and my siblings as we were growing up. Both of my parents have always been Career-Oriented people, as they focused their Working Lives to provide us with necessities and luxuries when possible. I understood what my Dad meant, but I wanted to reassure him of their success. My parents were able to fulfill their Careers and continue providing generously for our family to this day. I told him that our Family Dinners have always been the one Designated Family Activity. I didn't want my Dad to Regret the things he didn't do, but acknowledge the efforts he made and benefit from our experiences now in the Present.

From my observations, my Grandfather passed away with much sadness and regret that his children saw him as an empty shell before he finally departed. I hope that openly communicating and active listening would prevent anymore of that from happening. My takeaway from the conversations I've shared with my Father so far: We are now comfortable enough to address specific challenges with one another. I don't know that I'm ready to share anymore of myself as openly with my family yet, but I'm glad to have made that connection with my Dad. I'm Fortunate and Thankful that both of my parents are around for this kind of bonding. I didn't think I would reach a point where I'd be the one comforting my Parents, but I see how being present with our energies benefits us.

"You wont hurt others by telling them the Truth. You might remind them of their own hurts."
Listen to someone's Truth, so you might Understand. Thank You for Acknowledging Me, Dad.
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