Revolving Doors

on
The first weekend of this new year, I had an opportunity to catch up with an old friend after roughly two years of absence. In all honesty, I hold no animosity toward this person and have grown to love and appreciate them like a sibling I never had. We keep in touch via occasional text message and Snapchat stories, but even then, our meetings are rare due to schedules. (Story of adult lives, right?) When we met up, one of our biggest discussions focused on loss and their advice to me was, “Don’t leave lights on for someone who’s not coming Home.” While there is truth to that, I have tendency to keep doors open for whoever feels Welcome. I choose not to burn many bridges, but I'm learning to see when gates have risen, as well as when to close my own.

I’ve been thinking about the last time I experienced such loss and the events that followed. Looking back on these moments, I’ve learned that anyone can change their perceptions and how they interact at any time, but I’m usually too slow to notice. All it takes is one vital move to shift everything and everyone we perceive in beauty and truth. By the time I realize something has happened, these people might reappear with completely different personalities. I am willing to admit that I’m naive to a fault: to believe others would be forgiving, understanding or cooperative. I have owned up to my mistakes of the past and this has allowed for some reunion, even if only for minor appearances. I value the growth that comes from it, but it has been made clear that not everyone will Accept or Make Amends. 

Some might say that relationships are necessary to show the dynamics of others, but what I've been learning more lately, they reveal truths within ourselves. We will undoubtedly cross paths with many people over the course of our lives. Certain individuals may stay longer than others who are just another blip' on the radar. Some people might enter or exit as if walking through revolving doors. Be mindful of the time and space when people appear and vanish. As long as we care about these people, the hardest part is when the time comes to let them go. In some rare cases, people we knew previously may choose to return, but be aware that they will never be the same once they come back to your doorstep. For me, this is one of the most challenging lessons to accept as I view people under a unique lens for so long. 

If you read this entry and know someone who stands among those that I’m referring to (Who knows. Maybe it's You?): I’m Sorry we haven’t made up - Sometimes I wish we could, but I don't trust myself around you yet. I apologize for the way I have acted in the past, as I realized it may have caused the relationship to stray - I’m aware that I made some selfish decisions as you may have done so as well. Should we find an opportunity to reunite, given better circumstances, I hope to be remembered as the best version of myself, as I once saw you. As we take time to separate, I sense some part of me is leaving, too. I know I cannot force you to accept my truths; Maybe you won’t change who you are, or what you believe. I Sincerely hope that you’re becoming Exactly who you want to be. At the least, I Pray you will be True and Honest with Yourself first.

Thank You for being Present with Me. 
- - - - - 

Related Content:

Comments

Post a Comment